Oh damn I want thatttt
That’s an emotional achievement for me :D After a year of painful and tragic love heartbreak experiences, I’m proud to say that I am finally over that. But this has also brought me to be afraid to fall again.
I actually don’t know how to begin this post. But I indeed have this empowering idea in my mind that wants to flow its way out. So here it goes..
After almost a year of struggling in that of what J. Sparks describes as battlefield, I came to a point of solid acceptance and ‘not caring’. It wasn’t easy. Well, nothing’s easy when you’ve got a broken heart. Now, I honestly am not sure whether I am over him or not. All I know at this time is that I am smiling again though ‘we’ never worked that thing out. Time just went along which helped me move on.
I am afraid to fall again. Sounds stupidly coward of me right? But I guess that’s a normal emotional reaction after passing that rocky crossroad.
Though I have this pessimistic feeling of fearfulness, my heart didn’t stop from blocking the entrance of love.. I really don’t want this sensation of likeness and adornment to develop but I feel that it would only make things worse. As we, human beings - who eventually learned how to love, be loved, and get hurt- all know that love, only has a one-way entrance door. There is an exit.. but it’s placed at the end of the pathway. When your heart started possessing this powerful feeling, there is usually no way out of it. Though you fight hard for it to be stopped, you lose. It’s like you’re fighting against yourself, against your most expressive possession- your heart. You’ll only have the key out of that dark cave after encountering those defiant stages. Win or lose, you’ll get hurt.
When looking at the positive side, you’ll gain lessons.. lessons which will serve as your guide as you continue life. Blahh
PS. SHTTY FEELING UGH
What a great feeling jotting all of this down, out of my system! :)) Posted sht thoughts again after a long time.. What a start.
And oh I saw this:
He dealt those words again. But my reply turned out to be a joke that’s why I didn’t get the chance to feed my curiosity.
Okay wth am I thinking? Srsly, I told myself to stop. And I think it’s working. I ain’t like before. That’s positive. But with those fxcking words… I don’t know anymore.
PS. WHAAAAAAAAAAT. HEART, SHUT UP. Stop that senseless feeling. Emotional cessation, yes?